With one third of food wasted every year, and no campaigns or studies making a difference, it’s high time that we started investigating whether the alignment of the stars has something to do with it. As individuals it’s clearly our fault that we waste food, and nothing to do with the social and material environments we find ourselves in. So what can your zodiac sign tell you about what you’re doing wrong, and how can you fix up? Look no further!
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You don’t understand the difference between use by, sell by, and best before dates. It’s so simple, only 45% of people understand them so it’s clearly nothing to do with the labelling system itself. Consider not being so thick.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You live in an area where there is only one supermarket which doesn’t provide any loose options for fruit and veg so you have to buy a kilogram of potatoes when you only want a couple. Try moving to an area with more options.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
You are cash-strapped at the moment and the idea of buy one, get one free is really tempting even if you don’t end up eating it all, because at least you’ve got some more food in the house, right? Wrong! Have you thought about not being poor?
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You often change your mind about what you want to eat, and things you had planned to make don’t seem very appealing now. Try maintaining a strict diet regardless of what brings you joy.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
You’re working full-time and have caring responsibilities on top, which means you have hardly any time to plan, buy, prepare and cook food and manage leftovers, and waste inevitably happens. Why not buy more time by sleeping less?
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You are always out. Whether because you’re at restaurants or visiting friends or going somewhere after work, food at home is sometimes neglected. It’s time to stop having fun. Go home and eat your food.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You love making lists, so planning your meals is very enjoyable. However life doesn’t always work the way we predict, and unexpected events mean that what you planned to eat doesn’t end up getting made. This is a sign that you’ve drastically let things get out of control. The list is law.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You love spinach but it only comes in really big bags and you can never eat it all in time before the bits at the bottom go all slimy and smelly. Not a problem! This is the stars telling you to just eat spinach all day every day of your life.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You’re very busy with life and often are too tired to make the meals you planned, so end up ordering food instead. Try spending hours bulk-making a meal during the weekend and put it in the freezer, which is not tiring at all.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Your fridge has loads of areas where food becomes totally invisible and you lose them by accident. It’s time to totally rearrange things, add visual aids and use apps on your phone to mitigate against this flawed design that has hardly changed since 1927.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You love taking your time making meals and you are a keen baker. Sometimes this means that you accidentally make too much and struggle to find enough people to eat it all. Perhaps you should get more friends.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You’re pretty good at using up most of what you’ve got, but there are things like stale bread, ends of vegetables and lemon rinds that you throw away despite technically being edible. Why not learn some very niche and time-consuming tricks to use up absolutely everything?*
… happy April fool’s day. As this horoscope unsubtly points out, reducing food waste at home is not easy, and if we want to get serious about tackling food waste, we need to get serious about tackling the barriers to reducing it. Information campaigns are the government’s go-to strategy for preventing food waste in homes, and as you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of this approach.
You can ‘educate’ people to learn about expiry dates, buy loose produce, reject supermarket offers, plan meals better, prioritise food at home, make lists, only make what you need and only eat what you have, bulk-make and freeze food, manage your fridge better and share leftovers … but it’s not realistically going to work. Only systemic changes will meaningfully prevent food waste, and we need to stop making people feel bad about living in a food environment that set ups them up to fail. Instead, we need to create an environment that makes it all easier.
*some of these recipes can be found on the blog under ‘At home’ but they’re there to have fun with – I’m in no way preaching that everyone must have a “zero-waste” lifestyle. If you like doing these things and you have the time, energy and resources to do them, go for it!
FOOD WASTE STORIES 